I too have been struggling with some horrible lasting visions of my husband being unwell, passing away etc. I have been trying to discuss this with councilors and asking for help to work through it but unfortunately nothing much has been offered or helps. The nasty and distressing visions can put me in quite a low sometimes – seems like no one understands any of it – except for those who have been there with their loved one, and for me that’s those I chat to on this site.
I wish that the professionals (such as the Doctors) would have informed me of what happens after a certain amount of time of the heart stopping as I asked “will he be alright to stay for a while?” yes yes they assured me – but yeah right… after a period of time things started to change and I lost it, his handsome face changed and the things that happened that I was not prepared for or wanted anyone else to ever see was horrible! I know my husband wanted to keep his dignity and this made me mad and very sad – as it could have been prevented had the right people informed us – honestly I had enough other horrible visions in my head from him being unwell – let alone adding a few more when he passed away!
Polly I totally agree with the whole expectation of us widows having to sit quietly with a cup of tea and be comforted by happy memories. My reality also consists of those hideous visions and I honestly struggle to shake them out of mind some nights and I’m only 7 months on since my husband passed. Thanks for the heads up on the 1 year anniversary stresses xx HJ