Reply To: Lost

#1635

Pam
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I don’t think anyone outside of this experience has a clue how it is. They think they do, but they don’t.
They talk about being strong, but what on earth does that mean, you’re in shock, your worlds been turned upside down, you’re numb, grieving
It is so early on for you. How do you start to get over this, you don’t, not yet.

Maybe try counseling, it helps some people, just to talk it through with someone not involved. It has to be a bereavement counselor, so people have said on here. There’s also WAY. Widowed and Young

The first couple of months are about just getting it in your head that this really has happened, the brain seems to takes a while to process this. We know it’s true, but somehow, something in our minds doesn’t quite believe it yet

No, not suicidle thoughts for me, though I’m sure it does for some, we are all different
You will find a way through this, just believe that and just get through day by day, hour by hour even
One day you will think about life again, you will. You are young and im sure one day life will feel good again, but there’s no magic bullet, it’s a slow process

Some people on here have written journals, it sometimes helps to write feelings down. I used to write notes on my iPad, sometimes just one word, sometimes a poem, whatever came into my head, how I was feeling that evening. Looking back at those notes I can see how I have slowly moved forward. I don’t think you get over it, but you learn acceptance, there is a life around that loss, it’s not all encompassing any more

The owner of this site Kate, has written a survival guide ( see top of home page) and also a book about the loss of her young husband, worth a read
It helps to read how others coped

Your last sentence, don’t even try to think how to start yet, just be, look after yourself, try walking and just get by somehow ….. I promise it will get easier

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