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Topic: So much sadness today
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patricia spires
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So much sadness today
got up this morning and did not feel too bad. Was into a cleaning binge when I dceided something had to go into the attic. Which was not a good move.
I have only been in the attic twice as my Geoff always put things up there. In the darkness I put my hand on a pile of his sweaters. He hated to throw anything away and had neatly folded some heavy winter sweaters and put them just inside the hatch. I took them all down and as I was going through them I remembered the ones I had bought him and then I fell apart.
4 months on Wednesday and it feels like yesterday. I am finding it increasingly hard to find a reason to carry on. It was all so quick. The only thing I want is Geoff and I can't have him.
Sorry have had better days but right now I have hit a real low patch.
XXX
Posted on 17/10/2011 at 19:53 |
Hazel P
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Re: So much sadness today
Hi Patricia,
You sound so much like me I can only nod, cry, nod and cry some more reading your posts. It is 18 weeks today since i lost my Hon an i have had the jumpers episode, mega attic episode and can totally see your way of thinking. I wonder how other widows/widowers coped before these sites. I think my Father must have been grieving for his last 30 years and hope that with what we have here that we can find some kind of new happiness while still remembering with joy instead of that achy lump in the middle of our chests.
Love to you xxxx
Posted on 17/10/2011 at 20:50 |
Susie
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Re: So much sadness today
Dear Patricia
That must have been so hard for you. Attics,garages,sheds-all seem to hold reminders in half forgotten treasures designed to knock us for six.
All those places, for me, are like something looming in the background. I know one day I will have to tackle them but just now it is too painful to contemplate.
Take your time in dealing with these things. Wear the sweaters if they can be give a little bit of comfort.
Take care and I hope you feel a bit better
xxxx
Posted on 17/10/2011 at 20:54 |
Gerry
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Re: So much sadness today
Dear Patricia, there is so much to remind us of them. I want to start sorting things out but never get very far because it's such a painful task.
Just remember there's no rush. Take your time and maybe wait until you're a bit stronger before tackling the loft again.
Take care-lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted on 17/10/2011 at 22:33 |
cathi goldinger
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Re: So much sadness today
I can so relate to this. I lost my husband to a Brain Tumour on the 12 July this year. I too was in the attic this week and it was a photograph album that started me. I found myself with my head in the wardrobe smelling his suits and ties just hoping to get a sense of what once was him.
Posted on 18/10/2011 at 16:10 |
Norm
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Re: So much sadness today
Dear Patricia,
I am at the same stage as you, almost 4 months since I lost my husband. Think I am coping ok but then something knocks me right back. Finding making decisions we used to take as a couple
very hard, to the point of feeling panicky. Not ready yet to sort his things out, apart from a few very old items I knew he was going to replace .
You are not alone. Look after yourself.
x
Posted on 18/10/2011 at 17:07 |
Linne
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Re: So much sadness today
Hi Patricia
I know how awful this is & can only agree with other mw's, you need to do it in your time.
I have had exactly the same, my home has had to be converted for my disability this year, so I had to sort through our things. Because I couldnt get upstairs my family were bringing down our things/ his clothes in binbags & I wanted to scream stop touching them. Luckily my parents also found it heartbreaking & were wonderful. I have kept loads & when I'm ready I'll do it, but not til then.
take good care
Linne xx
Posted on 18/10/2011 at 21:09 |
Suzanne A.
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Re: So much sadness today
Hello Patricia,
I know just what you mean about sorting and giving away our husbands things. I had an offer to help go through his clothes just weeks after he died. I just smiled and thanked them and said I would let them know when I was ready.
I never got ready for someone else to help me with that task. There was a memory to go with every shirt and sweater he wore and they were my memories. Like Gerry said, there is NO rush to do that. If anyone has to move then they can usually pack away all the personal things and decide later what they want to keep. Take your time with this because it is sad but very much a part of the healing process. To eliminate everything from sight immediately is almost always a mistake. Though we can always give things away later, we seldom can retrieve them.
Thinking of you
Posted on 18/10/2011 at 21:59 |
