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Topic: Too soon to be a carer?
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Dreamcatcher
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Too soon to be a carer?
When Jane was ill, we had brilliant End of Life care through Age UK and nursing staff. After Jane's death, I mentioned that I would love to be able to offer that kind of care to other terminally ill people. The team leader said that they would love to have me as I have all the right personal qualities and skills.
This morning I noticed they are now recruiting new carers to provide End of Life care. It includes all non-medical things such as shopping, washing, manual handling, feeding etc.
I can do this. I would love to do this. I know what a difference having great care in the last few weeks can make.
But it has only been 5 months since Jane died. Is it too soon? Too soon to be around other people's grief whilst remaining professional yet caring? The only way to find out I guess is to apply and see how things go. But is that too much of a risk?
What do you think?
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 12:22 |
Susie
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
Oh Dreamcatcher,that is a difficult one. But as you say how much you would love to do it before you express your doubts I think you should go ahead and
give it a try.
I am sure also if you explain your situation the team leader will be understanding.
It sounds an incredibly brave and strong thing to do and I am sure you will be able to make an immense contribution and difference to many people.
Good luck. do let us know how you get on.
xxx
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 13:46 |
Diane
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
Dreamcatcher, I feel much the same as Susie, it is a hard question to answer, but I believe if you take it steady, and your employers are aware of your sad loss,then I believe you can contribute such a lot, by giving the true love and care needed at this sad time. Just go for it! Take care, Diane x
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 14:02 |
Suzanne A.
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
Dreamcatcher,
I am all too aware that our doubts keep us from doing things we really could be doing. I think it is great that you are considering this.
My own experience is as follows: I wanted to be around and help people who were suffering too but something held me back from doing it. At five months I would have been worse for those people than if I had volunteered to do all the things you mention. I realized it when the final time came to go there. It actually took me over two years before I could jump into that situation. You may be much stronger than myself and I would not discourage you from trying. I can tell you it is an incredibly emotional type of volunteering and if you find it is making you more sad, you might want to then try a different kind of help for awhile yet. There are many people who need you.
Thinking of you
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 15:14 |
Dreamcatcher
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
Thanks for the responses. The work is not actually volunteering but a full-time job. I know I will be a palliative nurse in the future so I think I will enjoy giving people that special care.
I am about to start a job as a home carer next week but that is more for elderly people to help them stay independent. Maybe I should see how that goes first before going into palliative care?
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 15:25 |
Ruth
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
Hi Dreamcatcher, this is, unfortunately, only a question you can answer, and even then you might not know until you try. I asked at the hospice that Pat was in if there was a recommended time between losing loved one and volunteering and they told me it was different for everyone. Some people are helped by getting straight into volunteering whilst others take years to be back in that environment. I know it's not quite the same but the emotions involved are the same.
Maybe you just take your gut feeling. Does it feel right and hopeful? Do the group looking for the carers have an opinion?
You are such a caring person that if and when the time is right this would be a wonderful thing for you pursue. All the best and let us know what you decide. Xxx
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 16:00 |
Hazel P
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
I recently had a conversation with a friend who is in the same position as myself and had mentioned to her local hospice about volunteering there as she had found the care and support there invaluable while her husband was there but while they said that would be wonderful they had a policy that grieving relatives were not considered for any kind of work there for a year after their bereavement, which I think is probably a fair consideration as they probably see a lot of people having knee jerk kind of decisions in the early months after they lose their loved ones and in any kind of caring professions whether it be paid or voluntary they have to ensure disclosures are carried out which can take time and sometimes at a cost to company, but often the applicant.
But if you are going to be working in a care setting you will get a good preview of what general care will involve. Good luck in your chosen profession.....xxxxxxx
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 17:36 |
fen
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
i think maybe you know the answer in saying would it be too soon, it is 5mths for me nearly and feel i have too much grief inside me to be of any help to any one else. Think carefully but you are truly inspirational to consider such work and i wish you luck
in your decision
take care fen x
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 17:38 |
Elaine C
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Re: Too soon to be a carer?
Hi Dreamcatcher, I have worked in a residential home for people with MS, Huntingtons and other brain disorders for 6 yrs now. I work in the kitchen and serve meals etc. What I would say to you is that it is very rewarding and I really love it. But its the losing of people that you get to know and like thats hard. I lost my husband nearly 2yrs ago and I dont think I would have coped if I hadnt my job to go to. It was like a safety valve because I couldnt be sad at work so I could laugh and sing and joke like I always did with the residents. And slowly I'm surviving widowhood with the help of them all. What I would say is maybe see if you could volunteer somewhere first and see how you get on. Let us know how you get on and what you decide. Take care. xx
Posted on 21/10/2011 at 21:18 |
