Reasons To Be Cheerful
I was once told that if I could survive the first year of widowhood, then I could survive anything. There were times when I didn’t think that I would survive, and I imagine that most young widows have felt the same at one time or another. But we do survive, and when we look back on our experiences, what have we learned? Well, I think all people who have suffered a catastrophic loss are subsequently gifted with the kind of human insight that most psychiatrists would happily sell their couch for.
You are able to see what really matters in life. You are able to see people for what they really are. You are able to help others with their problems. People will seek your advice; they will look to you as somebody with experience beyond your years. And you will give them your help, because benevolence is something that comes out of loss.
People who only saw you as an extension of your husband will now see you as a person in your own right. You will have learned to manage your finances, run your household and cope with bringing up your children on your own. You will have learned the true value of friendship, and you will know that the friends that have come with you this far will stay with you for the rest of your life. You will be imbued with great self-belief and stoicism, and you will see other people’s petty problems for what they are – inconsequential.
If all that is not enough to make you happy then consider this: if you have not already met a man, then just imagine what it will be like when you do. You will have all of the intense joy of a first date, the sexual frisson of a first kiss, the weirdness of looking at a new naked man, when you thought that you would be sleeping with your husband for the rest of your life. You will learn new tricks, have fun, and be happy. You have all that to come.
You can talk about your late husband, not with the bitterness of a divorcee, but with affection. And then you can live happily ever after.
So go to it.
Nobody deserves it more than you.