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Topic: another bad day
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Andrea s
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another bad day
when do things start to come right
its four month on sunday
fed up of feeling crap
you get up in morning and it all starts again
it never goes away
really wish i could wake up
just want my life back , but i know that lifes gone, was gonna go to gym (again) but ended up sitting here again , feeling sorry for myself again it isn't going out its coming back and you realise its real, he's not here.. its all gone
doesn't matter what people say it doesn't change anything
just another bad day, funny they all seem like this
guess i've still got the kids that is one good thing would be totally lost without them
Posted on 28/03/2007 at 10:57 |
Vicky
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Re: another bad day
I would like to reply saying it gets better, but I think you just get better at dealing with it.
I wish you well, be strong for the Kids and go to the gym, or do something for you.... that is very important.
Big hugs x
Posted on 28/03/2007 at 11:06 |
mel
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Re: another bad day
hi andrea sorry i cant give you any answers im at 44 weeks and 4 days and i still feel like you i had a really bad weekend but im feeling a bit better at the moment what helps me is posting on here because everyone on here knows what it feels like so everyone helps everyone im like you i dont like to go out because the coming home is the hardest but im sure it will get easyer or im hoping but everyone is different as to how long it takes i know it never goes away but i hope we learn to live with it so try and keep your chin up and keep posting on here hugs mel
Posted on 28/03/2007 at 11:06 |
Martyn
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Re: another bad day
Andrea
I'm sorry to say that where you are is exactly where we've all been at 4 months, but if you look at the ones who are passed that stage you will see that things do change. Believe me I was as desolate as you sound this time last year but honestly I'm not now. It does get easier and there will be days in the future months when you will feel good.
The first step will be feeling good about yourself and that will be a really important moment for you. I know it's going to be hard for you, but take your time because I know you'll get to where I am now, in fact I promise you will.
Martyn
Posted on 28/03/2007 at 11:10 |
Linda Watkins
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Re: another bad day
Im on day 34 Andrea and totally sympathise. Our little girl is only 8monthsold so I guess she keeps me busy and stops me going insane.
It is utterly horrendous what we are experiencing and we'll all manage it differently but I find keepong myself very busy helps. I know exactly what you mean about leaving the house and coming back to it empty knowing he'll never be here when i get in. I started forcing myslef out every day to walk my dog and baby and even though when Im coming home I get the same old sick feeling in the tummy and tightening in the chest it has been easing as I slowly start the recovery journey.
Have no advice really - just wanted to send you a ((hug)) and let you know you're not alone.
x
Posted on 28/03/2007 at 14:15 |
Julie S
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Re: another bad day
Andrea, I feel for you. From someone who is now at 3 years I would like to be able to tell you that in 2 months times you will miraculously feel better. But, you won't. I will tell you though, that it does get better. It is just a long process. I found the 6 month mark and the 1 year anniversary very difficult. Maybe it was pyschological, I don't know but after the year, I finally accepted that he wasn't coming back, this was my life now and I had better make the most of it. Like you, I have children and I was determined that they would not look back on their childhood and just remember that their mother was always in a mess and never really coped after their dad had died. I began to go out more with friends, I took the children on holiday (on my own, scary but well worth it, they had a lovely time) and decided to try and make a new life, which was naturally different from before, but still good.
I think I have suceeded, my children are healthy and happy and doing well at school. I have a new man in my life who I see 2 or 3 times a week and life is good once more.
You will get better, you will stop feeling crap all the time. I still miss Andrew all the time, I wish he was still here and I am sure that will always be the case but I am not miserable with it anymore. I don't get that horrible sinking feeling anymore when I think about him not being here. He loved me and we were happy together and I am content now and just feel happy for the time we did have together.
Don't think too far ahead. Just a day at time and you will get there, probably without even realising.
Posted on 29/03/2007 at 13:32 |
nicola casey
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Re: another bad day
hi andrea, you sound like me!! we are both at the same stage (18 weeks) and i am feeling exactly the same. I wonder if i will ever enjoy any aspect of living again. Right now we are just existing for our kids. My wee girl is 2. 3 weks after steven died our newborn son died after only 5 days in the world, he had severe heart problems, dont even think i've had the chance to grieve for him yet. Life is a complete bastard. Keep your chin up hun. nicola casey xx
Posted on 29/03/2007 at 18:36 |
