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Topic: husband's characteristics
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Mary P
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husband's characteristics
Why is it I seem to have developed Brian's less positive traits?
I used the be the laid-back one; he used to be the one that got uptight. Now I'm so anxious all the time it feels like I'm on a knife edge.
He could be judgemental and outspoken, especially if someone upset me. I used to try and see things from other's point of view and he'd say i was making excuses for them. Now I've become hypercritical of myself and everyone else.
Why couldn't I have adopted his wonderful traits, like the positivity and zest for life that saw him through all the challenges the illness sent? Why can't I have his confidence and certainty? Or the way he always stood up for others and reached out to people - I feel myself more and more withdrawing.
Why can't I get the balance back in my life?
Posted on 06/07/2008 at 22:23 |
F
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Re: husband's characteristics
My guess is that you are possibly annoyed that he is gone and you have to face the future without him, it's how I feel and I have a pretty short fuse at the moment. You may be subconciously trying to do as your husband would have wanted. I think it's just a matter of time, until you are able to be calm and you will be ready to adopt he more positive traits. Please don't be hard on yourself, you are going through a difficult time, and you are coping the best way you can, which is all you can do. No-one would expect anything more. Take care.x
Posted on 06/07/2008 at 22:56 |
Carol D
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Re: husband's characteristics
I feel like F and agree with that post.
I feel I have changed from being the calm person to being just like him - short fuse and liable to explode at any time.
I reckon this has a lot to do with the anger I feel at losing the love of my life however.
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 07:25 |
mabe
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Re: husband's characteristics
Oh lordy, me too....I was just thinking exactly the same thing just the other day.......my husband used to be sooo critical of himself and hard on himself.....the other day I found myself teling myself what an idiot and a loser I was, in a dark hour. Although that isn't really how I feel about myself, I was aware of the fact that I was using the kind of language that J used. How extraordinary As ever, this site has reassured me that I'm not the only one feeling these kinds of things. Thanks for that x
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 08:06 |
