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Topic: am i ignoring it - part II
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becs
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am i ignoring it - part II
Thanks to you guys who replied to my original post - it turns out that i was actually building uyp to receive the next massive wave of grief. within 7 hours of me posting last, I was bent over the bottom drawer of teh chest of drawers, clutchin M's cricket shirt and beloved wolvges fotball shirt and sobbing uncontrollably.
Today was the memorial cricket match for him, organised by a good friend of ours. I wanted the club to have M's kit, so they could use it for teh youth team or whatever and sorting it out just opened up the big fat wound I had tried to close with a sticking plaster. I think I maybe just needed to come back to reality after my holiday for everything to come out again. Feel exhausted now. Glad I no longer have to work mondays.
Posted on 06/07/2008 at 23:14 |
Jenny W
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Re: am i ignoring it - part II
Sorry to hear you have had such a bad day, someone told me that grief is like the tide, it can be really calm and then all of a sudden a great big wave hits you and knocks you off your feet.
I think you just need to go with it and be kind to yourself when it hits you.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow, like you say at least you don't have to go to work and be strong in front of everyone, just give yourself time and be kind to yourself.
Posted on 06/07/2008 at 23:41 |
Another Kate
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Re: am i ignoring it - part II
i used to work in theatre so Monday was always the day off for me. I used to love just taking the day that everyone else seemed to hate. I hope you can take some time for yourself.
Take care
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 01:07 |
Jenny
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Re: am i ignoring it - part II
Hi becs
Had a similar day yesterday as you describe. Not in floods of tears, but the old feeling of anxiety and fear, and talking out loud to myself (well to my husband really) telling him I wanted him to be here.
I thought I was doing so well - trying to make a new "normal" for me and my son because I know I have to.
Yesterday, my husband during those months of being so poorly and the night he died took over my brain. It has happened before, but not like this - it is usually flashbacks that come and go fairly quickly but yesterday (and this morning) I can't "see" anything else.
My son and I scattered my husband's ashes on Saturday, and I know that is what has affected me so. Just have to go with the flow, I guess.
Lots of love
Jenny
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 07:48 |
issy
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Re: am i ignoring it - part II
oh its ghastly you think you are resigned and then out of the blue grief so bad that you are bent over double. But what i have found is after each spell im a little further forward in my abillity to cope. its like this vile process towards sanity. i keep coming back to food poioning.........its better out than in.!!!! take care
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 08:42 |
