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Topic: I feel so inadequate..
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Ninette
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I feel so inadequate..
I spend hours reading your posts and press 'reply', but I cant think of the right or wise words to express how much I understand. That does not mean that I am not thnking about you all and wish you strength and love. I have one friend I email. I know I am isolating myself from my family and friends, but that is the only way I can cope at the moment.. I can hardly string a sentence together so, i guess, they are just giving me time and space (I hate that expression!). Its 20 weeks siince Jamie died and a year plus since we first heard he had cancer. I've just had the day from absolute hell. But I know I have not yet had that bump of reaching rock bottom. When I do I know it will start to get better in time.....
So I wish you all well..
Ninette x
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 21:52 |
Lesley B
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
Hi Ninnette
Don't apologise. Some times all you can do is listen - sometimes there is nothing that you can add - you may not feel the same way or have experienced the same things.
It's ok - I reply a lot because I am an opinionated nosey person with too much to say - and that's just what my friends say about me - You don't want to hear the rest.
But my point is that there will be times when you have something that you want to add - and times when you want to add but have no words - a simple post that says I care or Hugs or Thinking of you can mean al the difference in the world.
And if you need us - we are here, we will find some words - especially us over-chatty types, Oh you know who you are.
Take Care
Lesley
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 22:20 |
Liz
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
I so wish I could comfort you.
Please, please do NOT think yourself inadequate, grieving is bloody hard work. I have the greatest admiration for the support you are all giving each other when you are in the depths of despair
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This site was not available to me at your stage and I don't think ( in fact,I know) that I would not have been able to offer support to anyone at that time in my life.
In fact, I still feel incredibly guilty that, on what would have been my husband's birthday 6 weeks after his death, I agreed to go on a school
trip to keep me busy. To my shame I didn't even think that I was leaving my 19 year-old son home alone that evening, especially as he as with me when his father died peacefully.
I only realised this the night before and he arranged to go to a friend's, and no hard feelings.
I sincerely hope this helps.
We all cope in our own unique way. There is no right or wrong way.
Just please, please, don't feel inadequate. For one reason: you have done a positive thing for me by letting me admit in public my own shortcomings and selfishness.
Hang on in there! It DOES get better.
Much love and a big hug. Take care. Liz, x.
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 22:32 |
Another Kate
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
Well, what the heck was wrong with those words?!
I am so sorry you are low and don't mean to make light of it. I am just so impressed that you are here at 20 weeks even if 'just' to read. I never even looked for anything like this until I was at about a year. I couldn't do anything but just focus on the day to day stuff to get kids and I through it. I think because we all take such comfort from this site, we tend to think of it with a bit of guilt maybe? But coming here, even if you don't post, is still doing the work of grieving. You are not escaping here, you are facing it. You just have company here.
Oh, and I consider myself one of the 'chatty and opinionated' ones along with Ms. Lesley up there, and I take comfort in the idea that people are reading even if they don't respond. And please, no one need feel the need to disabuse of me of this notion. HONEST!
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 23:01 |
Edwina
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
Don't feel inadequate Ninette - you are reading and feeling everything too. I know what you mean - I post but I don't ever think I really have anything to comfort anyone else because I am going through exactly the same stuff myself. When I do post I sometimes think it turns into a posting about "me" which makes me feel guilty.
I think the best thing about this site is everyone is so caring and wonderful. Keep reading Ninette.
Take care - hope you have a better day.
Edwina
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 23:09 |
issy
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
ninette i had a day from hell aswell.all over the place up down no concentration feeling patheticabnormal you name it.! but we are doing this together girl its enough for me to know you are there. and that others walk the same path. thats a big big deal to me in itself. im too at 20 weeks and was made to feel today that i should be more advanced. well stuff them all us girls will do this journey together and take as long as it takes xxx
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 23:29 |
Lyn m
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
Ninette, you are very brave to post your thoughts and it shows what a warm and caring woman you are. Even though you are only 20 weeks into this nightmare new world you are concerned about others.
Take care
xx
Posted on 07/07/2008 at 23:43 |
tbd
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
you are not inadequate - you are brave. You have courage to take the small steps and you are doing what you need to do to love and look after your children despite your heart being broken. Have pride in the small steps you take. Know that you are not alone.
tbd
Posted on 08/07/2008 at 00:16 |
PipsG
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
Ninette: Don't beat yourself up. At this stage of the process, I imagine that you are still literally struck dumb by shock amongst all the other emotions rattling round your head and heart.....
But you're thinking about others in the same boat as you, so you can't be inadequate! Be kind to yourself and have a cyberhug.
Posted on 08/07/2008 at 09:15 |
Ninette
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Re: I feel so inadequate..
Thank you so much for replying..
What an absolute gift this MW site is.
Hope today brings some baby steps foward for you all.
Ninette x
Posted on 08/07/2008 at 10:21 |
