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Topic: 18 Months Tomorrow
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BEVB
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18 Months Tomorrow
18 Months for me and Lesley p tomorrow and i wonder how i have got this far without Nick in my life.I looked at our wedding picutures last night and just broke down i howled like a bay good job the kids were out, he just looked so well and happy and nothing like the last 18 months of his life when he suffered so much, i do not wish him back to go thru all that again but with i could turn the clock back 3 years beofre he became ill. I got custody of his two children as they have lived with us for 7 years now but i had to go to court with his ex to get them in my name and altho she wants nothing to do with the kids she contested it but i won in the end. I know Nick would be proud of me and the kids, 4 teeneagers in toatl with my 2 and the way they have turned out would make him so proud and they have kept me sane i think as it is such a busy house especially at weekends when various friends turn up to stay after a night out as they cannot get home they crash here so alwasy plenty going on but even with a full house i feel alone. I need to tackle the garden, alwaqys Nick's domain and the nearest i have got to doing anything is buying a hanging basket for the front of the house. I have learnt to fix things around the house and am a dab hand at emptying the filter on the pond now,did contemplate filling it in but Cassie will not have it as she says "dad loved the pond"repaired the washing machine, cleared out the garage and have had major renovations done round the house all since he died.I have still not cleared his stuff out from the w\ardrobe and really need to tackle that but cannot face it at the moment.Oh well rant over thinking of you tomorrow Lesley P.
Posted on 13/07/2008 at 11:34 |
sue
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Re: 18 Months Tomorrow
Dear Bev b,
I'm at six months next weekend and your post gives me hope.
I love the fact that you are so brave and have achieved so much. and learnt so many new skills. I love the fact that you have done it in the face of grief. I love the fact that you haven't yet thrown Nick's things away - the fact that I can't open the wardrobe where Bob's clothes are all still there and I can't move his toothbrush and razor and shaving cream sometimes make me feeli I'm doing it 'wrong' but you make me feel all right.
Ilove the fact that you wept over the wedding photos because the depth of your grief shows me the heights of your courage.
I hope you're proud of yourself, you sound as if you're dong so well.
Will think of you and lesley P tomorrow,
suex
Posted on 13/07/2008 at 11:56 |
LesleyP
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Re: 18 Months Tomorrow
Thanks Bev and thanks Sue. Never thought I would get this far, and thought I would feel better than I do, if I did. But I have been helped a lot by your emails Bev, as well as by MW. God knows how I would have managed without being in touch with others in the same situation and it has been especially good being in touch with someone else at exactly the same stage.
I think Nick would be incredibly proud of you Bev and of how you have managed with the kids. they are all doing so well - you are obviously doing a brilliant job. Hope you get through tomorrow OK.
Love L
Posted on 13/07/2008 at 21:03 |
Bethan
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Re: 18 Months Tomorrow
Lesley and Bev, thinking of you both today and sending loads of cyber hugs and love, take care
Bethan xxx
Posted on 14/07/2008 at 15:22 |
Liz
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Re: 18 Months Tomorrow
To Lesley P and Bev:
Thinking of you both today. I wish you strength and love.
Take care, Liz, xx
Posted on 14/07/2008 at 16:16 |
