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Topic: Fancy His Friend?
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Fancy His Friend?
My lovely husband died only 10 weeks ago, he died of cancer. Over the past few weeks I find myself thinking about one of his friends (who is divorced) a lot. I bumped into him last week and he asked for my mobile number which I gave him. I'm sure he is just being polite and wants to ring to see how I'm doing etc, but I find myself looking at the mobile like a teenager waiting for him to call!!!. When my husband was alive I never ever thought about the friend. Is this a normal reaction?? - I mean its nice to think about something nice instead of all the crap that has to be dealt with after a bereavement??
Posted on 19/07/2008 at 11:05 |
anon
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Re: Fancy His Friend?
Hi ,your feelings are normal ,i went through exactly the same ,but it didnt end nice as this chap was married..try try to resist ! Your not ready for this .Hugs .
Posted on 19/07/2008 at 12:18 |
shy ann
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Re: Fancy His Friend?
Hi
Agree with anon. Itly days for you I think. My soulmate passed 16 months ago now, and about two months ago I bumped into one of his mates. We have been out a few times but I'm taking it slowly. I feel guilty not about seeing someone else but because it's his mate it feels "funny" only one close friend knows and she is supportive so I'll just take it slow and see what if anything develops.
But must admit I don't think at 10 weeks your ready for anything more than friendship, perhaps that's all he's offering.
Posted on 19/07/2008 at 12:26 |
becs
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Re: Fancy His Friend?
I understand how you feel completely. I have started to look at my own male friends in a completely different light.
You can't go from having the type of companionship you had with your husband to nothing and not miss it or want something similar. It is human nature
The boundaries have changed completely as you are no longer in a relationship. Peoples perceptions of you have changed.
I am currently suffering from the fact that a couple of male friends appear to think I am fair game! But ia m doing a pretty good job at keeping them at arms length and if I am honest, having travelled this road for 18 weeks, it is nice to feel attractive and wanted. I just choose not to act on it.
Take care and take it for what it is. Only you can decide what you are ready for and when.
Becs xxx
Posted on 19/07/2008 at 13:04 |
tbd
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Re: Fancy His Friend?
Hi,
It is completely normal and I have had similar times - I think it is partly because I have craved male company - that different point of view as much as anything else and also because of the link between you, which is your husband.
Don't feel guilty about it - but I would suggest not doing anything about it either.
take care
tbd
Posted on 19/07/2008 at 13:11 |
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Re: Fancy His Friend?
Thanks for all the replies, nice to know you have all been there too and I'm not losing the plot.
I have no intention of doing anything about it, as I said he is probably only being polite asking for my number, its way too early to be thinking of anyone else, which is why I'm suprised to find that I am!!
I even googled Russ Lindsay who was married to Caron Keating the other day, because he started seeing Sally Meen very shortly after his wife died!!.
Posted on 19/07/2008 at 15:14 |
