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Topic: getting in a complete pickle
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sophia
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getting in a complete pickle
loneliness has driven me to book to see a film at the local arts centre on sat eve. now I'm getting in a complete pickle of anxiety over it and i can't believe what a twit i am. my fifteen year old daughter has offered to look after the younger one - she seems sure of herself but i keep thinking of everything that could go wrong - storms, fires, floods, intruders. then there is the prospect of standing there at the bar on my own - billy no mates - no friends or anyone beside me. yet i don't know what else to do - i have not had a social invitation from existing friends for weeks and because my research work keeps me at home with my books then i don't see anyone during the day either. yet standing there, filled with anxiety, is going to make me feel even more lonely....
how did i get to this state? a mature, competent, educated woman with loads of experience in the world and i'm incapable of going 5 miles down the road...
Posted on 29/07/2008 at 18:20 |
suep2
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Re: getting in a complete pickle
Hi Sophia.Just wanted to say that I'm not as far down the road as you are but I do know what it feels like to be isolated.If you want to see the film then go -your daughter can phone you if theres a problem.I'm sure you will feel better for getting out.But it doesnt solve the problem of being isolated ,does it.You are gonna have to try to do what you dont want to do ,which is contact your mates and suggest meeting up to do whatever cos the fact is they probably wont think to phone you.And thats what its like when you are on your own -you have to make things happen.The good bit is that meeting people leads to meeting other people and after a while -hey youve got a social life.You can do it if you want to.I' m not saying its easy cos it isnt but you can do it!
Posted on 29/07/2008 at 19:15 |
marje
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Re: getting in a complete pickle
My heart goes out to you, it is bloody difficult all this. If it helps, my 14 year old looks after my 10 year old when I go out sometimes and has been fine. If there are problems, your 15 year old can text or call you.
I always feel worried too - I think that is our guilt, with its complex causes, rather than a baby sitter's competence.
It is hard to build a new social life - I know a lot of couples, and much as I love them, and go out with bits of them separately (if you know what I mean) I know I need to go out and find something else, too.
Whereabouts in the country are you?
Posted on 29/07/2008 at 20:40 |
bernadette
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Re: getting in a complete pickle
Hi Sophia
I have been going to the movies alone for months, I actually enjoy it more on my own now. I went to see Mama Mia with a few girlfriends last week and they were quite annoying, the movie was great but the company seemed to want to chat. I have also joined a group called meet-up, you can find them on the internet in your area, I have joined snails pace walking tours of toronto neighbourhoods, the first one was eight people and one other lady and I really clicked so I have made my first new friend as a widow and not as one of a couple. I was married for 27 years and have no children so have to just pluck up the courgae to get out and do things.
Good luck
Bernadette
Posted on 30/07/2008 at 04:30 |
